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whitebirdd

Jan. 6th, 2010

08:58 am - Writer's Block: Sunrise, Sunset

When you wake up, what's the first thing you think about? What's the last thing you think about before you fall asleep? Are they the same?

When i wake up usually i think about what i plan to do that day, or crap! i need a shower before i meet such and such or before i go out anywhere, or oh no if i have a shower should i wash my hair too? Do i have time?! will it be al finished by the time im ready to go out, haha. 

And the last thing i think about, can change several times i think about alot, and i mean alot before i go to sleep actually sometimes happy
things, sometimes sad but hey thats me.

So some days they could be the same, some days not quite.
What about you? :)

08:54 am - 8.43 on a wednesday morning.

 

To all that are reading.
what a start to a morning already, arguments around the place, babies crying, toddlers whining, and a 14 year old getting grounded a person that usually smokes, running through the house with a cigarette. It all looked like mayhem to me! Just as i thought i could get a good sleep in before i went kayaking, looks like i wont now.  I cant remember if i said i was going kayaking in my last post or not? but yeah i am, should be fun. If i dont capsize ha ha. Boy i am so tired , if i dont capsize ill fall asleep.. one or the other ha ha.  This isnt a very long post since its that time of the morning and i reaaaaaaaally cant be bothered, but ill post later for all you nosy parkers ;) just kidding !! 
Peace, Love, Hugs, Always <33 Nikki

02:28 am - 06/01/2010

 

To all the people reading,
wow! wouldn't say writing in a diary online is new to me but feel's good to be back writing what i feel down and other 
extra's you might all like to read in on.  Its 2.15 am and all that is running through my mind at this very moment is
what im going to write on this, ha ha.  It gets quite exciting knowing i can let all my feelings and thoughts run wild
just by a few taps on the keyboard. Ahh technology, thats one thing i dont think i could live without taking it back
to the days i wish i was born in, the woodstock days. Its to controlling, i swear !! never let the pc take over the human
mind, i say.  To get onto something, these 2 nights have been quite different, i cant stop thinking about the things
i regret doing, or saying to people that i love so much, family especially. It get's hard knowing i could never take those
thing's back, it gets hard knowing that everyone dies and eventually the people you love do too. It hurts not being able
to tell people you love them, even though you know you love them so much theres just something stopping you and
you just have no idea what, its.. hard. And usually, coming from me, in situations similar to this, anything to do with
helping others etc, i know what to do.  I cant get enough of helping people, and usually when i do, they come out thanking
me for helping them and how much iv helped them.  It makes me feel good, i just dont understand why i cant see what
to do when it comes to situations with me. Maybe i need to find someone, a friend just like me that can understand literally
everything i know, everything i do, and they do the same. I had a friend, i still do infact . He's an angel now, he was exactly
like me born in australia, half american grew up with american family, the hippy tradtion. Woodstock days i love to call it,
he was beautifull, amazing, so talented, and famous. I love him and miss him so much, it would be a dream to find someone
just like him again. He's one of a kind, so it wouldnt be a dream it would be a miracle.  At the moment, his mother is so 
dear to me, i had been having some nightmares recently, id get hardly any sleep.. it was dreadfull! So pretty much every day
id be quite grumpy and me grumpy aint a good idea ha ha, she bought me this beautiful silver / metal shell.. its designed to
stop insomnia, and by looking at it people wouldnt think it actually worked, and it does. Its amazing, it does wonders!! Iv slept
with it ever since and havent had one nightmare, except for one night i didnt sleep with it, i had a nightmare. Cool huh? As its
now 2.24 i best be off to sleep, im getting up at 10.15 to get ready to go to my friends and go kayaking with her family up in a
place called winderhome. Its a beautiful beach, lets hope its sunny tomorrow and if it rains overnight, look for the rainbows 
and the sunshine tomorrow.         Peace, Love, Hugs, Always. <33 Nikki

Current Mood: gratefulgrateful